Funny Shayari in Hindi - Funny Status - Comedy Shayari | अध्याय 2

Yeh Exam Ke Rishte Bhi Ajeeb Hote Hain,
Sab Apne Apne Naseeb Hote Hain,
Rahte Hain Jo Nigahon Se Door,
Saale Wahi Question Compulsory Hote Hain.

Aankho se aansuo ki judai kar do,
Dil se ghamo ki vidaai kar do,
Agar dil na lage kahin to,
Aa jao mere ghar ki SAFAi kar do..

Hum dua karte hain Khuda se,
ki wo aap jaisa dost aur na banaye,

Ek Cartoon jaisi cheez hai humare paas,
kahin wo bhi common na ho jaye!

Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi woh bhi puri ho gayi,

Pagal hain woh log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzee ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!

Student Shayari:
Aasma mein kaali ghata chai hai,
Aaj fir principal se maar khai hai,
Sab kehte hai sudhar ja,
Kya kare aaj madam fir sheela ban ke aayi hai.

Tere chehre pe udasi aankhon mein nami hai,
Tere chehre pe udasi aankhon mein nami hai,

TATA namak istemal karo
Kyun ki IODINE ki kami hai.

Wo Jo Sar Jhuka Ke Baithe Hain,
Hamara Dil Churaye Baithe Hain,
Humne Unse Kaha Hamara Dil Hume Lauta Do,
To Bole Hum To Hatho Mein Mehndi Laga Ke Baithe Hain.

Charon Taraf Hai Faili Moonlite,
Machhar Bhi Dene Ko Betaab Hai Aapko Luvbite,
Takiye Ko Gale Laga Ke Sone Ka Tight,
Bole to Wo Sweet Dreams Wala
...
Good Night

Arz Kiya Hai:
Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,
Wah Wah

Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,
Bhai Wah Wah

Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,
Zara si tawajja plz

Bhai petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,
Kya irshad farmaya hai,

Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai
Nahi dalo to nahi chalti hai.

Log Ishq Karte Hain,
Bade Shor Ke Saath,

Hamne Bhi Kiya,
Bade Jor Ke Saath,

Magar Ab Karenge Thoda,
Gour Ke Saath,

Kyonki Kal Usko Dekha,
Kisi Aur Ke Saath.

Ladki Sath Ho To Restaurant Ka Bill,
Ladki Door Ho To Mobile Ka Bill,
Aur Ladki Hamesha Ke Liye Hi Door Ho Jaye To,
Daru Ka Bill,
Isliye Na Lagana Dil,
Na Aayega Bill.

Har khwab hamesha sachcha nahi hota,
bahut zyada pyaar bhi acha nahi hota,
kisi ko kum na samajhna is duniya mein dost,
kyu ki har dudh peene wala bachcha nahi hota.

Chicken aise pakao ke kaccha na ho..
Wah wah
Chicken aise pakao k kaccha na ho..
Aur
Mohabbat aise nibhao k baccha na ho!

Message Pe Message Bhejte Ho,
Bhej Bhej Ke Bheja Kharab Karte Ho,
Bhejte Ho To Bhi Kya Bhejte Ho,
Khud Ka Bheja To Chalta Nahi,
Doosron Ka Bheja Hua Bhejte Ho.

Machhar Ne Jo Kata,
Dil Mein Mere Junoon Tha,

Khujali Itni Huyi Ke,
Dil Be sukun Tha,

Pakda Toh Chhod Diya,
Yeh Sochkar,

Saale Ki Rago Mein,
Apna Hi Khoon Tha.

Ishq Ne Ghalib, Nikamma Kar Diya,
Varna Hum Bhi, Aadmi The Kaam Ke.

Salam Arz Hai,
Jawab Karz Hai,
Dena Farz Hai,
Na Dena Marz Hai,
Na Koi Garz Hai,
Bas Itna Arz Hai,
Agar SMS Padhna Pasand Hai,
To BHEJNA Bhi Farz Hai…!

कौन ‘कमबख्त’ कहता है,
लड़के सोचते कम हैं
..
लड़की एक बार मुस्करा कर तो देखे
शेरवानी के रंग से लेकर बच्चों तक के नाम सोच लेते
हैं।

Hume tumse Love hai..
Please refuse na karna..

Ye zero watt ka hope bulb hai..
Please ise fuse na karna!

Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho,
Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho,

Kitni aasani se jaan le lete ho,
Kisi ne sikhaya hai..
ya bachpan se hi kamine ho?

Tum Kya Chale Gaye,
Baag Se Titliya Chali Gayi
Phool Murjha Gaye
Patte Jal Kar Raakh Hue.
Ab Aur Mat Satao
Garden Mein Paani Dena Hai
Kaam Par Jaldi Aao.

Tumse mil kar ho gaya zindagi se pyar,
Ab humein chhod kar mat jana yaar,

Bin tere hum jee na paayenge,
Tum na hote to hum ULLU kaise banayenge.

Hamne tumse pyar kiya abla samajh kar,
Tere baap ne mujhe peeta tabla samajh kar,
Maine tumse pyar kiya durga samajh kar,
Tere bhaiyo ne mujhe kaata murga samajh kar.

Barish Ka Mousam Bahut Tadpata Hai,
Unki Yaad Aati Hai Jinhe Dil Chahta Hai,
Lekin Wo Aaye Bhi To Kaise,
Na Unke Paas Raincoat Hai Aur Na Chahta Hai.

Zindagi ki bhaag daud raste badal jate hai,
Tez hawa mein sahil ke kinare badal jate hai,
Aksar sochta hu padh-2 ke sa record tod du,
Par kitaab kholte hi irade badal jate hain.

Pucha mujh se chand sitaro ne,
Tujhe bhula diya tere jigri yaaro ne,
Maine muskurate huye kaha,
Bhul to nahi sakte kamine,
Bas lage honge kisi ko patane mein.

Sheetal Sheetal vayu Chali,
Aasman Hua Suhana,

Gadhe Bhi sms Padhne Lage,
Shikshit Hua jamana.
Happy Winter Time.

Zindagi lambi hai dost banate raho,
Dil mile na mile haath milate raho,
Taj Mahal banana toh bahut costly hoga,
Par har gali mai ek Mumtaz banate raho

Ankhon se barsaat hoti hain,
Jab apki yaad saath hoti hai,
Jab b busy rahe mera cell to ..
Samajh lena aapki hone wali ..
Bhabhi se meri baat hoti hain.

Pyar ki gadi mein kabhi petrol nahi hota,
pyar ke safar mein kabhi panchar nahi hota,
Pyar jivan ki aisi gadi hai jis mein…
Do se jyada passenger hona achha nahi hota.

Arz kiya he
Tere pyar ke saaye ne mujhe aisa pyasa banaya,
.wah wah.Tere pyar ke saaye ne mujhe aisa pyasa banaya,
.wah wah.Tu 2 min ruk..
mein pani pi ke aaya.

Miss Karte Hai Aapko,
Yaad Bhi Bahut Satati Hai,

Karne Ko To Phone,
Bhi Kar Lete Par,

Customer Care Ki Ek Ladki,
Balance Kam Batati Hai.

Usne jo sher mara to wah wah ho gayi..
Usne jo sher mara to wah wah ho gayi..
Aur Maine jo Sher mara toh..
Toh toh
Sherni widwa ho gayi..!

Teri dosti mein deewane ho gaye,
Tujhe apna banate-banate khud se begane ho gaye,
Pukar le pyar se ek baar mere dost,
Murge ki aawaz sun ke zamane ho gaye.

Main Hoon Jis Haal Mein
Ae Mere Sanam Rehne De
Chaaku Mat De Mere Haathon Mein
Kalam Rehne De

Main To Shayar Hoon
Mera Dil Hai Bahut Hi Nazook
Main Patakhe Hi Se Mar Jaunga
Bomb Rehne De.

Jab tum is duniya se jaoge,
Door kahin ek naya janam paoge,
Is baar jo hua bahut bura hua,
Agli baar tum ek lambi pooch aur chaar taang paoge.

Yaad karte hai tumhe tanhai mein,
Dil duba hai gamo ki gahrai mein,

Hume mat dhundo duniya ki bheed mein,
Hum milenge tumhe fir kisi,
...
Free SMS ki scheme mein.

Ajab si halat hai tere jane ke bad,
Mujhe bhukh lagti nahi khana khane ke baad,
Mere pass do hi samose the jo maine kha liye,
Ek tere aane se pehle ek tere jane ke baad.

Zor se chali hawa udd gaye aap,
wah wah..
zor se chali hawa udd gaye aap,
phir..
phir kya
...
Ruk gayi hawa aur gir gaye aap.

Lamha Lamha karke waqt guzar jayega,
7 fero ka sathi tumse bandh diya jayega,

Abhi bhi waqt hai yaaro kisi ko pata lo,
Kya pata kal kisi ka pataya hua maal..
Tumhein saup diya jayega.

तेरी दुनिया में कोई गम ना हो,
तेरी खुशियाँ कभी कम न हो,

भगवान तुझे ऐसी आइटम दे,
जो अग्निपथ की चिकनी चमेली से कम ना हो !

Arz kiya he:

Dil Logi ya jaan logi !
.wah wah.

Dil Logi ya jaan logi !
.wah wah.

Meri jaan set hone me kitna time logi

Barish ho aur zameen gilli na ho,
Dhoop nikli aur sarso peeli na ho,

To phir aap ne yeh kaise soch liya ke,
Neend me aap ki yaad aaye aur salwar gilli na ho.

Julfo Me Phoolon Ko Saja Ke Aayi Hai,
Chehare Se Dupatta Utha Ke Aayi Hai,
Kisi Ne Puchha Aaj Badi Khubsurat Lag Rahi Ho,
Mane Kaha Shayad Aaj Naha Ke Aayi Hai.

Yeh Kaisa Tera Pyar Hai Zaalim,
Dil Na Raha,

Sarkari Daftar Ban Gaya Hai,
Na Koi Kam Karta Hai,

Aur Na Hi,
Kisi Ki Baat Sunta Hai.

Ishq ki dukan hai meri,
Ishq le jaya karo,
Hum lete nahi paise Ishq k badle ..
Bus ek kiss de jaya karo.

Yaad Aane Lage Chacha Ghalib Ya Elahi!
Ye Majra Kya Hai?

Takata Hoon Harek Ladki Ko
Varna In Aankhon Ka Fayda Kya Hai

Kapdo Ki Aabo Taab Dikhane Mein Reh Gya
Kuch Khoobsurat Ko Lubhane Mein Reh Gya

Murge Ki Taang Kha Gye Shadi Mein Saare Log
Main Deston Se Hath Milane Mein Reh Gya.

Agar Doodh Mein Gire Chawal Use Khir Kehte Hain,
Agar Doodh Mein Gire Chawal Use Khir Kehte Hain,
Agar Pyar Mein Pade Jutey Use Taqdeer Kehte Hain.

Arz Kiya Hai
Saari Raat Guzar Jaati Hai
Bas Isi Kasmakash Mein Ki..
..
Yeh Saali Razai Mein
Hawa Kidhar Se Ghus Rahi
Hai..!

Popcorn ki khushbu,
Mungfali ki bahaar,

Thandi ka mausam aa gaya hai yaar,

Thodi si masti,
Thoda sa pyar,

Muffler sweater rakho dhokar taiyaar.
Happy Winter season

Mausam Ne Li Angrai,
Aur Humne Orhi Razai,

Ice-Cream se Hui Larrai,
Moongphali Ghar Main Aai,

Cold Drink se Muh Mod Liya,

Coffee Se Nata Jod Liya.
Happy Winter Season

Aapki yaad mein humne nai kalam uthai,
Liya paper aur tasveer aapki banai,

Socha tha ki usko sambhal kar rakhenge,
Magar wo to baccchon ko darane ke kaam aayee.

Kisi shayar ne kaha..
Zindagi ek lamba safar hai,

Kisi aashiq ne kaha..
Zindagi ek mushkil paheli hai,

Are dosto zindagi ka arth toh sirf voh bata sakta hai,
Jiski shaadi ke baad bhi koi saheli hai!

Khuda kare kisi ko mohabbat me judai na mile,
Kabhi bhi kisi ko ishq mein bewafayi na mile,
Aur jo meri es post ko padh kar bhi Like na kare,
Usko thand mein kabhi rajayi naa mile.

Pani Aane Ki Baat Karte Ho,
Dil Jalane Ki Baat Karte Ho,
Char Din Se Muh Nahi Dhoya,
Tum Nahane Ki Baat Karte Ho.

Ha HaHa Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha
Ha Ha

Kuch Nahi Aise Hi Teri Sakal Yaad Aa Gayi Thi.

India is Nation and Dadar is Station,
Wah Wah

India is Nation and & Dadar is Station,
Do Not Fall in Love,
First Complete Your Education..!

Dhokha milta hai jab pyar mein,
Zindagi mein udasi chha jati hai,

Sochte hain chhor denge is duniya ko,
Kambakht college me dusri pasand aa jati hai.

Aaj Tum Pe Aansuo Ki Barsat Hogi,
Phir Wahi Kadkti Kali Raat Hogi,
SMS Na Kar Ke Tune Dil Dukhaya Hai Mera,
Ja Tere Badan Mein Khujli Sari Raat Hogi.

Aahat Si Koi Aaye To Lagta Hai Ki Tum Ho,
Saya Sa Koi Lehraye To Lagta Hai Ki Tum Ho,
Ab Tumhi Batao Tum Kaya Kisi Bhoot Se Kum Ho.

Jab tum aaine ke paas jaate ho?
To aainaa kehta hai?

Beautiful..
Beautiful..

Aur jab aaine se door jaate ho?
To aainaa kehta hai?

April fool..
April fool..

Kaun Sa Gham Hai Jo Yeh Haal Bana Rakha Hai,
Na Toh Makeup Hai,
Na Baalon Ko Saja Rakha Hai,

Khamkha Chhedti Rahti Hai Yeh Rukhsaron Ko,
Tumne Julfon Ko Bahut Sar Pe Chada Rakha Hai.

Sms Bhejne Ka Nahi Tha Shok Hamein,
Teri Yaad Ne Mobile Pakda Diya,

Message Likhte Likhte Space Khatam Huyi,
Humne Overwrite Allowed Chala Diya,

Mere Yaar Sms Ka Reply Dena,
Hamne Apna Farz Nibha Diya.

Ice Cream Tu Bahut Nirali,
Thandi Mithi Swad Mein Aali,

Dekh Tujhe Man Lalchaya Hai,
Muh Mein Pani Aa Jata Hai,

Jeebh Turant Bahar Aa Jaaye,
Bin Khaye Fir Rah Na Paayein ,

Kon Charon Aur Ghumati,
Chaat Chaat Kar Khoob Ghumti,

Sapne Bhi Bas Tere Aayein,
Itni Mere Dil Ko Bhaye.

Kadam kadam pe hawa ki aahat ka dhyan rakhna,
Mushkil samay mein bhi iss dost ko yaad rakhna,

Hamari yaadon ki khushboo zaroor aayegi,
Tum bus apni naak saaf rakhna.

Baagon mein phool khilte rahenge,
raat mein deepak jalte rahenge,

khuda aapko saari khushiyan de,
baaki takleef to hum dete hi rahenge.

रहिमन कूलर राखिये… बिन कूलर सब सून।
कूलर बिना ना किसी को… गर्मी में मिले सुकून।।

एसी जो देखन मैं गया… एसी ना मिलया कोय।
जब घर लौटा आपणे…गर्मी में ऐसी-तैसी होय।।

बिजली का बिल देखकर… दिया कबीरा रोय।
कूलर एसी के फेर में… खाता बचा ना कोय।।

बाट ना देखिए एसी की… चला लीजिए फैन।
चार दिनों की बात है… फिर आगे सब चैन।।

पंखा झेलत रात गई… आई ना लेकिन लाईट।
मच्छर गाते रहे कान में… तक तना तंदूरी नाईट।।

गर्मी में बुझी-बुझी सूरत… जली-जली स्किन।
कन्या कोई न देखे मुड़के… आ गए ऐसे दिन।।

शहर का लडका गाव की लडकी पटाता है:
लडका: तुमको whatsapp चलाना आता है?

लडकी: नहीं,
पर तुम चलाना में पीछे बैठ जाउंगी

Chaand Per Kaali Ghata Chhati To Hogi,
Sitaaron Ko Muskurahat Aati To Hogi,

Tum Lakh Chhupao Dunia Se,
Magar Akele Me Tumhe Apni Sakal Per Hassi Aati To Hogi.

School Ke Paas Hamesha Drive Slow Ka,
Board Hamesha Laga Rahta Hai,

Lekin Ladkiyon Ke College Ke Paas,
Kabhi Bhi Nahi,
Aisa Kyu ?

Kyuni Wahan Par Toh,
Ghadiya Apne Aap Slow Ho Jati Hai.

Tu kahe to chaand taare tod du,
Tu kahe to bandh darwaze khol du,

Tu kahe to yeh duniya chhod du,
Tu ek baar haske to dekh mere dost,

Tere saare gande daanton ko tod du.

Main Tere Aane Ka Intezar Karunga
Tu Jaha Jayegi Main Tere Saath Rahunga
Tu Jab Mujhe Yaad Karegi Mai Tere Paas Aaunga
Ye Dosti Mai Marte Dum Tak Nibhata Rahunga
Aur Na Nibha Saka To Main
Tere Hath Kisi Aur Ke Hath Me Dekar Jaunga.

Chhod diye wo kam jinke galat the anjam,
Ab kuchh din nek kamo me bitayenge,

Aur 12thpass karne ke baad hi,
Koi nayi ladki patayenge.

Dil ke arman aansuo mein bah gaye,
Hum gali me the gali mein hi reh gaye,
Light chali gayi thi to…
...
Jo baat unse kehni thi wo unsi mummy se keh gaye

Haseen Tum Ho To Bure Hum Bhi Nahi,
Mehlon Mein Tum Ho To Sadkon Par Hum Bhi Nahi,
Pyar Karke Kehte Ho Ke Shadi-Shuda Hain Hum,
To Kaan Khol Ke Sun Lo Kunware Hum Bhi Nahi.

Baharo ful barsao mera dost aaya hai,
hotho pe muskan gali me mahak laya hai,
barso tak thi jise pani se allergy.
wo aaj lux se nahaya hai!

वो बेवफा होती तो यारों बात और थी
उसकी वफ़ा से ही दिल में जखम है।

हर दुसरे दिन उसका मैसेज आ जाता है
“मोबाइल रिचार्ज करा दो बैलेंस ख़तम है”

Bahut Khoobsurat Ho Tum
Khud Ko Duniya Ki Buri Nazar Se Bachaya Karo
Sirf Aankhon Mein Kajal Hi Kafi Nahi
Gale Mein Nimbu-Mirch Aur Chappal Bhi Latkaya Karo

Pyaar Ke Geet Gayenge Hum,
Apni Ek Nayi Duniya Basayenge Hum,
Jo In Hawaaon Se Diya Bujh Gaya,
Unhe Bech Kar Philips Ke Bulb Layenge Hum.

Hum Dil Phenk Aashiq Har Kaam Mein Kamaal Kar De,
Jo Wada Kare Woh Pura Har Haal Mein Kar De,

Kya Zarurat Hai Ladkiyo Ko Lipstick Lagane Ki,
Hum Chum-Chum Ke Hi Honth Laal Kar De.

हम दिलफेक आशिक़ हर काम में कमाल कर दे,
जो वादा करे वो पूरा हर हाल में कर दे,

क्या जरुरत है लड़कियों को लिपस्टिक लगाने की,
हम चूम-चूम के ही होंठ लाल कर दें।

Dhup Me Chamakti Profile Hai,
Sabse Alag Tera Style Hai,
Kya Ada Hai Kya Smile Hai,
Naak Pochne Ki Akal Nahi,
Aur Hath Me Mobile Hai.

Humare dil ne chaha tb-tb aap jaage the,
Humare dil ne chaha tb-tb aap jaage the,
Kyu ki wo hum hi the ..
Jo apke ghar ki ghanti baja ke Bhaage the.

Kashmir ki wadiyon mein,
Barfeeli hawaon mein,

Jheel ke kinare Heer ko Ranjhe ne jo kaha,
Wohi baat main tumse kehta hoon,
...
SWEATER PEHNO THAND LAG JAYEGI !

Zubaida,
Karishma,
Kareena,
Natima
Chalo Aaj Sabko Dikha Dun Cinema
Meri Umar Kya Hai Ye Kyun Poochte Ho
Kahin Ishq Ka Josh Hota Hai Dheema.

Aaj Ek Sweater Aur Pehen Lo,
Aaj Ek Razai Aur Odh Lo,

Aaj Ek Muffler Aur Lapet Lo,
Aaj 2 Moze Aur Pehen Lo,

Aaj Ek Kehwa Aur Pii Lo,
Aaj Ek Heater Aur Chala Lo,

Kya Pta. Kal Thand Ho Na Ho!

Ek khawab ek khayal ek hakikat hai tu,
zindgi mein pane wali har zarurat hai tu,
jisko roz msg karne ko dil kare
are yaar vahi sweet si musibat hai tu.

Umar kya kahu kaafi nadan hai meri,
Has ke milna pehchan hai meri,
Apka Dil zakhmo se bhara ho to mujhe phone kiziye,
DILO ko Repair karne ki dukaan hai meri.

Kehdo un padne walon se,
Kabhi hum bhi padha karte the,
Jitna syllabus padh k wo top kerte hain,
Utna to hum choice per chod dia kerte the.

Phone ke rishte bhi ajeeb hote hai,
Balance rakhkar bhi log garib hote hai,
Khud to msg karte nahi hai,
Muft ke msg padhne ke kitne shauqin hote hai.

India ki reet
Ladki agar apni marzi se pat jaye to pyar,
agar dost pata de to uphar,
agar gharwale le aaye to sanskar,
aur agar khud pata kar ghar leaao to hahakar.

Koi gham nahi magar dil udas hai,
Tujh se koi rishta nahi phir bhi ehsaas hai,
Kehne ko bohut apnay magar tu ek khas hai,
Zyada emotional na hona upar sab bakwas hai.

8-9 Mahine tumhe avoid kiya mujhe,
Lekin ab tum mujhe or dur nahi rakh sakte,
Aaj nahi to kal apni baahon me mujhe jarur loge,

With love
Tumhari purani
”SWEATER”

Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho,
Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho,

Kitni aasani se jaan le lete ho,
Kisi ne sikhaya hai..
ya bachpan se hi kamine ho?

Arz Kiya Hai….

Normal friend thi wo meri,
Achanak se mere liye khaas ho gayi.

Zindagi bhar fail hoti thi,
BOSSDKi pregnancy test me pass ho gayi…

Har nazar ko ek nazar ki talash hai,
Har chehre mein kuchh to ehsah hai,

Aapse dosti hum yun hi nahi kar baithe,
Kya karen hamari pasand hi kuchh KHAAS hai.

Ajeeb Si Kashish Hai Tum Mein,
Ki Hum Tumhare Khayalon Mein Khoye Rahte Hain,

Yeh Sochkar Ke Tum Khayalon Mein Aaoge,
Hum Din Raat Soye Rahte Hain.

Aap Ko Miss Karna Roz Ki Baat Hai,
Yaad Karna Aadat Ki Baat Hai,
Aap Se Dur Rehna Kayamat Ki Baat Hai,
Magar Aap Ko Jhelna Himmat Ki Baat Hai.

Pyar aur maut se darta kaun hai,
Pyar to ho jata hai ise karta kaun hai,

Hum to kar de pyar me jaan bhi qurban,
Par pata to chale hmse pyar karta kaun hai!

Chiragon mein agar noor na hota,
To tanha dil itna majboor na hota,

Kasam se hum aapse milne zarur aate,
Agar aapka aashiyana itni door na hota.

Pehli Nazar Mein Laga Wo Meri Hai,
Aankhein Uski Jheel Si Gehri Hain,

Purpose Kar-Kar Ke Thak Gaya,
Tab Jaake Jana Ke Saali Behri Hai.

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Funny Shayari in Hindi - Funny Status - Comedy Shayari | अध्याय 2

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